You will not be remembered for who you are; you will be remembered for what you did.

Donna Sollenberger, EVP & CEO, UTMB Health SystemIn recent Friday Flash Report messages, I have explored a UTMB value and offered my personal thoughts on ways we can demonstrate it in our daily interactions, both in the Health System and throughout the organization. We’ve explored integrity, respect and discussed facets of leadership and building a Culture of Trust, of which our values are all a part. This week, I wanted to offer my thoughts on compassion.

Compassion is similar to empathy, in that it is a feeling of concern for others and even sharing their feelings. Yet, compassion is a little more than just feeling empathetic toward someone. It is described as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering. In a sense, it is seeing others as human beings, just as ourselves, and treating them with the same kindness, care and concern as we would wish to be treated.

Initially, I wanted to incorporate an experience from my own life as I shared my thoughts on compassion, and perhaps in a future Friday Flash Report message I shall; but while writing this, my mind instead kept returning to the stories I had heard during this year’s Silent Angel Awards, which are given during Nurses Week to honor a licensed nurse, non-nurse, and a unit or group whose compassion, caring and advocacy made a difference in the life of a patient, family and/or friend. I thought when exploring the meaning of compassion, few stories could top that of this year’s Licensed Nurse Silent Angel.

If you ever doubt that the care you deliver and the interactions you have with our patients and families makes a difference, I hope you will think of this story and realize that, through demonstrating compassion for all, you do have a true and profound impact on patient- and family-centered care at UTMB Health:

My sister was recently diagnosed with an aggressive type of breast cancer. She ended up requiring bilateral mastectomies. Prior to her surgery, her mood had changed due to her diagnosis, and emotionally, she was not dealing with it very well.

At the appointments prior to her surgeries, she demanded no male doctors conduct her breast exams. After her 12-hour surgery, she was admitted to the 8C post-op unit. After she was assisted to her bed, her nurse for the night entered the room. It was John Patrick, RN. He was not only a male, but a male with long hair in a ponytail. I knew my sister would be upset, because this disease had caused her to be disfigured and a male was now here to take care of her.

When John came into the room, my sister’s head immediately popped up and her eyes opened wide. Before she could say a word, John started talking. He informed her he would be her nurse and that she need not be afraid, because her care was in his hands. My sister was immediately drawn to the support he gave to her. She was crying, and he told her once more not to be afraid, because she was a warrior. He was a male who my sister let take care of her because of his sincere compassion.

During the night, he was there for her, encouraging her with kind words of support. I was so very, very proud to have this nurse working at our hospital. He is not only a true angel sent to be with my sister, he was also sent to be my angel as well.

On a second occasion, my sister had to be readmitted due to a complication of her surgery, and was admitted to 8C again. At this time, she was in great emotional distress from all that was happening to her, and because she had to have surgery once again. She was angry and had been crying very hard; she was also frustrated with the interactions she’d had that evening. At that time, John came into the room and immediately took over. He once again started helping my sister get herself emotionally together by telling her she was a warrior and helping her prepare for the following day’s surgery.

This is the most outstanding nurse I have ever met in my whole nursing career. He is the Silent Angel, because UTMB did not know we had an angel working for us. He has touched my heart and my sister’s heart. Today, when my sister starts to feel down, I tell her to remember John’s words: “You are a warrior!” I will never forget how this nurse helped change my sister’s life as well as my life. He had no idea of the impact his nursing had on our lives, and I want to thank him with all my heart!

My mother used to tell me, “You will not be remembered for who you are; you will be remembered for what you did.” I don’t think that I really understood the importance of her admonition until I was older, but it was sage advice from a woman who lived her life showing compassion for others.

John’s story is but one of many stories at UTMB which demonstrate living the value of compassion. What stories can you share that demonstrate how someone at UTMB has lived the value of compassion? I would love to hear them!

 

One thought on “You will not be remembered for who you are; you will be remembered for what you did.

  1. Donna,
    I am a big fan of your Friday Flash. Thank you so much for talking about compassion and nursing. One of the important quality of being a nurse is being compassionate to others. I worked in Gyn Oncology for few years. During those times I’ve seen compassionate nurses who took care of patients like their own, and i was fortunate to have few of them as my mentors. I learned a lot from them. But on the other hand, it is a one way process—you give, but if you don’t learn to refill your own tank, you will be running on an empty and eventually you will be running out of compassion.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.


6 × = forty two

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>