Wisdom is knowing the right path to take. Integrity is taking it.

Donna Sollenberger, EVP & CEO, UTMB Health SystemAs many of you know, I grew up in the Midwest with wonderful parents who taught my two siblings and me many important values that have served us well throughout our lives. Our parents were always clear about their expectations of us, and my brother, sister and I tried to live up to those expectations. My dad also had some pretty strong opinions about education, work and integrity. To my dad, honesty and integrity were essential to making and keeping strong and trustworthy relationships.

We lived in Springfield, Illinois, and my parents did all they could to make sure we were safe and that we made good decisions about personal safety. My dad was not a fan of motorcycles, based on some past history of a friend who had a very bad experience while riding one. As a result, one hard and fast rule of my father’s was that we were never to ride on a motorcycle. While there were some shades of gray in a handful of his expectations of us, there was no gray area in this rule—you either rode on a motorcycle or you didn’t, and it was clear that our dad expected the latter.

One weekend during the summer between my junior year and senior year of high school, I was invited to a friend’s birthday party. I remember we were all enjoying music and the night air when my friend, Steve, arrived. He approached me and told me he wanted me to see something new. We went to the street in front of my friend’s house, and there sat a beautiful black and chrome motorcycle.

“Let’s take it for a spin!” Steve said.

“Oh, I can’t,” I responded.

“Why?” asked Steve.

“My dad forbids it,” I explained. “You have no idea the trouble I would be in if he ever found out that I rode on the back of a motorcycle.”

I think Steve could sense that he might still be able to convince me. “It’s Friday night. Your parents never go out, and we are a good ten miles from your house. They’ll never know,” he persuaded.

I was at the crossroads of an important decision. Steve was right—my parents would never know. They never went out because they always stayed home with my younger brother and sister unless I babysat for them.

Well, you can guess what happened. Yep, I rode on the back of Steve’s motorcycle. We took a quick spin down McArthur Boulevard, rode through Dairy Queen and then back to my friend’s house. It had only taken me a mere thirty minutes to break one of Dad’s strictest rules.

The next morning, I was in the kitchen when my father came in for breakfast. “Were you riding on a motorcycle through Dairy Queen on McArthur Boulevard last night?” he asked.

At that moment, all I could wonder was how on earth he could possibly know. “Why are you asking that?” I could feel my face getting flushed with guilt, but I kept my composure.

“Because our friends, Lilly and Jim, were at the Dairy Queen last night, and Jim called me this morning to say they had seen you drive through the parking lot on the back of a black motorcycle driven by a young man,” he said.

Okay, this was the moment of truth. Did I tell him what he thought he already knew and confess, or would I deny the whole thing? Then I blurted out, “I was at Roxy’s all night. I don’t know who Jim and Lilly saw, but it wasn’t me.”

“Are you sure?” asked Dad.

“Positive.”

And then, the next four words that tumbled out of my mouth would haunt me for the rest of the day. I said it again, “But it wasn’t me.” Those. I had just been dishonest with my dad. I felt terrible the rest of the day and hardly slept that night.

The next morning in church as I sat next to him, the sermon was about being honest in your dealings with your fellow man. Honestly, I squirmed all the way through church that day. Later that afternoon, I could stand it no more. I went to my dad and confessed what I had done. I was expecting the worst.

Dad asked me why I told him, and I said that I felt so terrible about not telling him the truth that I would rather face the consequences of my bad choice than to be dishonest with him. Fortunately, he accepted my apology and asked me not to be dishonest with him ever again. It was a great lesson for me, because I not only learned how important integrity is, but I also learned how terrible it feels to not demonstrate it. I also learned another great lesson from my dad—he knew how terrible I felt and believed that was punishment enough.

One of our core values at UTMB is integrity, which means that we are always honest in our dealings with our colleagues and our patients. It means that even when it is difficult, we must hold ourselves accountable for our actions and words. We must demonstrate honesty in all dealings. It is a critical value, because it is the foundation on which strong and lasting relationships are built. Without integrity, there can be no trust.

Many of you may have heard the saying, “Character is who you are in the dark.” Integrity is a quality of character that can’t outwardly be seen by others; it’s how we would act if no one was looking. People with integrity do the right thing whether or not they will be recognized for it. Integrity is also fundamental to our personal peace. When we are honest with ourselves and others we also are at peace with ourselves.

A good friend of mine once told me that she might not have a lot, but she would always have integrity. As I think about it, my friend actually had everything because she had integrity. I hope as we reflect on all of our core values at UTMB, that we all remember the importance of integrity. We trust one another to do the right thing, and moreover, our patients and their families trust us do the right thing. We cannot have a safe, reliable environment without integrity! Integrity is the key to having a culture in which we always offer the very Best Care and service!

 


Reminder! Next week is UTMB Nurses and Health System Week (Monday, May 8 through Friday, May 12). Check out the schedule of events below!

Monday Kick off with Balloons & Banners

  • 6:00 a.m. – 9:00 a.m. TDCJ Hospital Breakfast (Second Floor, TDCJ Cafeteria)
  • Walk a Mile in Our Shoes Executive Leadership Shadowing Nurses
  • Blessing of the Hands

Tuesday

  • 6:30 a.m. – 9:30 a.m. Hospital Admin Breakfast Jennie Sealy 4th Floor, League City and Angleton Danbury Campuses
  • Ambulatory Breakfast Delivery
  • 7:30 a.m. – 8:30 a.m. Nursing Research Journal Club, Jennie Sealy Rm 2.410D
  • 10:00 a.m. – 4:00 p.m. Blood Drive Jennie Sealy 4th Floor
  • 2:00 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. Nursing Research Journal Club, Jennie Sealy Rm 2.506B
  • Walk a Mile in Our Shoes Executive Leadership Shadowing Nurses
  • Blessing of the Hands

Wednesday

  • 7:00 a.m. – 8:30 a.m. Coffee with David Marshall, Jennie Sealy Room 2.506A
  • 12:00 p.m. – 1:00 p.m. ANA Webinar, Nursing: The Balance of Mind, Body and Spirit, Jennie Sealy Room 2.506A
  • 1:30 p.m. – 3:00 p.m. Coffee with David Marshall, Jennie Sealy Room 2.410D
  • Walk a Mile in Our Shoes Executive Leadership Shadowing Nurses
  • Blessing of the Hands

Thursday

  • Nurse Leadership Appreciation Lunch
  • 2:30 p.m. – 4:00 p.m. Awards Ceremony, Research Building 6, Room 1.206
  • 4:30 p.m. – 7:30 p.m. Pet Therapy, Jennie Sealy Room 2.506B
  • Walk a Mile in Our Shoes Executive Leadership Shadowing Nurses
  • Blessing of the Hands

Friday

  • Noon – 2:00 p.m. Cake and Ice Cream for Florence Nightingale’s Birthday, Jennie Sealy 4th Floor, League City and Angleton Danbury Campus
  • Cakes to Ambulatory
  • Ice Cream Distribution for Night Shift
  • Walk a Mile in Our Shoes Executive Leadership Shadowing Nurses
  • Blessing of the Hands